Cancer New Moon and All the Feels...

Cancer deals with emotion and it hits the Cardinal signs especially hard. As one of those signs, I have been hit with some emotions that I wasn’t necessarily ready to deal with and I had an experience that dredged up some old, childhood wounds that I am working through. But this experience also brought up some emotions of not feeling seen, heard, valued and validated; feelings that I totally thought I had already dealt with. Perhaps my expectation was that my feelings would be seen as valid even if others didn’t agree with them and I am now taking a look at my own expectations and figuring out how to adjust them. I tend to expect from others what I would give and that is hard because people don’t behave with other’s standards in mind. This is hard for me to parse.

I keep saying to myself that I am too old to feel this way, but that is not true. Feelings are feelings no matter what and I need to honor the emotions I’m experiencing and work with and through them. It has hit me harder than I expected and I am taking this cue to reexamine how much of myself I want to share, if and where I fit within relationships, and what my part is in all of this. My tendency is to pull away when I feel like I am not being heard or included and it is really hard for me to voice my feelings to people when I’m hurting, especially if I feel like an outsider or that my concerns will not be received. The comfort of my shell is my go-to. I think this is a very human reaction to big emotions. I’m really thankful for my therapist and my sister providing listening ears for me to explore these feelings and still fell safe and heard.

So for now, I am continuing to make art because I want to, putting myself out there creatively, and working towards the shop expansion. I even made myself a candle just because I wanted to and not because it was a “tester.” I’m still not sure when my neighbor will be retiring, but hopefully, by the beginning of the new year, the shop will be on it’s way to being a little bigger and having more space to offer to our community.

In the meantime, I have posted several new classes on the website for the rest of the summer and we have lots of opportunities to connect with community, including our Earth Spirits Society Membership. You can check it out here and see if it looks like a way you would want to support us and plug into that spiritual community you may be seeking.

Love,

Rin

The end of June is quickly approaching and I don’t know about you but the heaviness has been palpable. So many of you have come into the shop or messaged me to say that you have been feeling all the feels, and I am right there with you.

Along with all these feelings being dredged up comes an opportunity to examine ourselves and our feelings in a new light. Every month, we have a New Moon Gathering at the shop and this last gathering was especially poignant. The discussion I wrote on the New Moon in Cancer (you can read it here) felt like it really resonated with everyone.

So, as we all work towards confronting our outdated personal belief systems, thought patterns, and how we respond to our emotions when the big ones crop up, we can trust that the universe always has our best interests at heart. We just need to be open to seeing the signs and following our intuition.

Society conditions us to ignore and distrust our intuition, so I know what a hard thing it is to get back to where we are in tune with that quiet voice inside. I’m not sure I have an answer or a panacea for this problem but I am working towards listening more and trying to follow my heart where it leads me.